Do you have personalized license plates on your vehicle?

I do not know what such plates would cost, but it doesn’t really matter because the family bookkeeper has decreed that whatever the cost is it would be too much.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not feeling deprived because I do not have license plates such as IMAWRITR (I am a writer) or SHUT R BUG (shutter bug). I do not know how my wife, Nancy, can stand not driving a vehicle with plates such as IMA GMA (I am a grandma) or QUILTER.

Some people devote a considerable amount of mental energy when it comes time to take the plunge and order vanity plates for their car, SUV or truck. I did not have to search the Internet for very long before I found websites devoted to some creative thinkers and their license plates.

Somewhere in Illinois is a Volkswagen with the plates EEW A BUG.

Attached to the rear of a hearse is U R NEXT.

How diabolical would you imagine someone is with MUAHAHA on their license plates?

Seen on a sub-compact car was OH I FIT.

How angry would you be if you were cut off by a car with ESCUZME on its plates?

Buzz Lightyear would appreciate an Infiniti with N BEYOND plates.

A multicolored car has license plates of CLR BLND.

The word RUBIX is fittingly on the license plate of a Nissan Cube.

On a two-seated sports car is ZRO KIDZ.

Why all the talk today about license plates? It seemed appropriate after Nancy’s experience when she went out recently to get plates for our newest vehicle.

As my Parkinson’s has worsened it has become more and more of a challenge to get out of either of the two cars that we own. However, when Nancy was out of town last fall helping her ailing father, I discovered I had a much easier time getting in and out of the SUV owned by my daughter, Anna, who was graciously providing me transportation during her mother’s absence.

Following the death of her dad Nancy returned home with his like-new SUV. Because Nancy was told that she could not continue to drive the vehicle with her father’s plates still on it, it wasn’t long before my bride was on her way out to see the good folks at the Department of Motor Vehicles. After attending to the business necessary in order to license a vehicle it came time to secure the new plates.

The customer service rep waiting on Nancy presented her with a pair of plates off the top of the stack.

“You do not have to take these if you do not want to,” said the DMV worker.

A quick glance at the plates revealed why they might not be appealing. The two letters – H and E — plus the single numeral – zero — were arranged in such a way that the word “H0E” was formed.

As any gardener knows a hoe can be a useful tool when breaking the soil or digging out a weed. But that is not the word’s only definition. In some circles hoe is a derogatory term.

Understandably my bride was not comfortable with that word on our SUV’s plates. The plates Nancy brought home end in “H1E”. In case you’re interested hie is a seldom-used word which means to go quickly. I seriously doubt that having those plates will carry any weight should a law enforcement officer ever stops Nancy for going too quickly.

Recommended for you