One heckuva good time.
You’ll find all kinds of fun on the spring version of 50 Miles of Art, which runs March 27 and 28 from Hannibal to Clarksville.
OK, so you’ll have to detour around the Highway 79 closure at Ashburn. It’s worth it to take the blacktops.
Following is my list of the 50 things to keep in mind on the trip. If you want to find out more, go to www.50milesofart.com. Meanwhile, get ready for an adventure:
1. Where else can you see so much wonder without paying admission?
2. If it weren't for art, life would be extremely dull.
3. Put a canvas in the back seat. If the kids vomit, you can sell it on e-bay.
4. The Mississippi River.
5. The bullfrogs calling your name. Sorry, that was a Creedence moment.
6. Even if you're not into geocaching, stop at every lookout.
7. Beware of Mo-Mo the Missouri Monster.
8. Street signs bearing names such as "Holler Hole."
9. In Louisiana, North Carolina Street is south of South Carolina Street.
10. Malaruni Road is one vowel and one consonant short of an Italian dinner.
11. "Touch the Mississippi" at Clarksville's window on the river.
12. Daddy, I have to go.
13. Monkey Run.
14. Kiwanis Park in Hannibal.
15. Riverview Park in Louisiana.
16. Riverfront Park in Clarksville.
17. Stuff made by ASL Pewter of Louisiana is in the movies.
19. OK, who forgot the Dramamine?
20. Yes, son, wild turkeys can fly, especially when you scream as you run toward them.
21. Take side trips to Saverton and Ashburn.
22. Let's play "Skunks and Squirrels," the new roadkill game that's sweeping the nation.
23. Windy Bluffs Road is yards from Windy Pines Road.
24. Grassy Creek Baptist Church is a mile from Grassy Creek.
25. Don't hit the barn on that curve atop the hill. Trust me, you'll understand when you get there.
26. Village of the Blue Rose.
27. Lock and Dam 22 at Saverton.
28. Lock and Dam 24 at Clarksville.
29. Why isn't there a Lock and Dam 23?
30. Restaurants, eateries and bakeries everywhere.
31. Ein prosit, ein prosit der gemuetlichkeit (A toast, a toast to happiness).
32. There aren't enough hours in the day to visit fantastic museums each community offers.
33. Daddy, I really have to go.
34. Beauty is in the eye of the buyer.
35. Slow down enough to count the cows on the hillsides.
36. Famous Ralls Countians include country music star Helen Cornelius and Major League Baseball manager Mayo Smith.
37. Louisiana has more than 24 murals depicting area history.
38. Lover's Leap in Hannibal.
39. The Ted Shanks Wildlife Area near Ashburn.
40. The riverfront steps in Clarksville (No flooding, please).
41. James Monroe was elected president the year Stark Brothers Nurseries in Louisiana was founded.
42. Who ya gonna believe? Legend has it that Clarksville is named either for Revolutionary War hero George Rogers Clark or for his younger brother, William, of the Lewis and Clark Corps of Discovery.
43. Check out the Italianate and Victorian architecture.
44. Part of the route is called The Little Dixie Scenic Byway.
45. E Street in Louisiana is where Bruce Springsteen got the name for his band. Not really, but think of it as a cool trick on your friends.
46. Ralls County is named for Daniel Ralls, a lawmaker who is best known for casting the deciding vote to elect Thomas Hart Benton to the U.S. Senate.
47. History records that the first European in Marion County was Father Louis Hennepin, a French missionary.
48. Many buildings in downtown Clarksville are listed on the National Register of Historic Places.
49. Did I mention the food?
Looking for Easter candy?
Grab your basket and check back here next week, and you can hop along the bunny trail with me.
Ab imo pectore (from the bottom of my heart).