I found out by accident that my first son knew my heartbeat. He started to cry a few hours after he was born, and I picked him up and happened to rest his head near my heart. Within seconds Benjamin calmed down and was comforted by the familiar thump, thump, thump.

It didnít work when my husband held him next to his heart. Benjamin could hear and smell the difference, and it was me he wanted.

With Colt, it was my voice that soothed. When he was upset, I would put my mouth near his ear and whisper that Iím there, that everythingís OK. My cheek would brush against his. He would reach out to hold my finger and he would quiet. The redness in his face would fade to pink. Iím the one heís most used to, the one who offers the most security and peace.

And I like that.

When I first became a mom, I knew Iíd spend the first few weeks memorizing the boysí faces. Iíd learn the meaning of their cries, and Iíd cherish the first time they each raised their chubby arms to hug my neck. But I didnít realize that they already knew so much more about me and the body we had shared.

In the moments after birth, they didnít need an introduction. They knew where they had come from and where they belonged.

I want to be that way with God. I want to know him so well that I never have to question if heís on my side because Iíll already be standing next to him. I want to be close enough to his face that I can hear him when he whispers ó and I want to listen and take action before thereís a need for him to raise his voice or to get my attention in other ways.

I want to know him so well that I barely have to question if something is in his will or if he is who he says he is.

I want to be where I belong, curled up next to his heart listening to the thump, thump, thump and knowing that, like Benjamin and Colt, Iím safe and loved.

ó Marketta Gregory is a former religion reporter who canít stop writing about what is sacred and holy. She is a native of Oklahoma but makes her home in Rochester, New York, with her husband, two crazy boys and one very vocal Pomeranian. Find more of her writing at SimplyFaithful.com or check out her book, ďSimply Faithful: Finding the Sacred in Everyday Life.Ē