Hannibal Courier - Post - Hannibal, MO
Boehner advises Americans to delay getting cancer for a year (satire)
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By Pat Cunningham
Sept. 30, 2013 11:20 a.m.

Boehner Holds Media Briefing At The Capitol
Andy Borowitz has the tongue-in-cheek story HERE:

In a special Sunday radio address, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) delivered a health tip to the American people, advising them to delay getting cancer for a year.

“We’re involved in a high-stakes fight over our freedom from centralized government control of our lives,” said Mr. Boehner, speaking on behalf of his House colleagues. “You can do your part by delaying getting cancer.”

He added that heart disease, emphysema, and diabetes were among a laundry list of conditions that would be “patriotic to avoid for a year.”
“If you delay getting any ...
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