The Tooth Fairy's Evil Twin
I was getting ready to work out at the gym this morning (as per my contractual obligation to Abercrombie & Fitch as one of their premier underwear models) and I couldn't help but be astonished at the tangled mess that had become of the cables on my rock and roll headset. How is this even possible? I always make a point to carefully and gently return them to the side pocket of my gym bag after every use. This is what I get for my efforts? It sounds ridiculous, but I’m pretty sure that the Tooth Fairy has an evil twin named Knotty that is hell bent on making my day at the gym miserable.
Speaking of things going inexplicably wrong… Could someone please explain to me how a garden hose that is not within fifty feet of anything but wide open lawn can manage to get stuck on something as you drag it though the yard. I don’t even want to know how many times I’ve been pulling the hose casually through a wide open expanse of grass only to have my head snap back as it somehow manages to snag on some unseen object. What diabolical convergence of nature and physics creates this amazing phenomena? If someone ever manages to talk me into going skydiving, I’m taking the plunge with a simple garden hose. Although extremely rare, statistics will show that occasionally a parachute does fail. A garden hose will, without fail, manage to get caught on something on the way down.